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1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes
because I know I'm not dumb ...
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but
you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-
3. I want to have children,
but my friends scare me.
One of my friends told me
she was in labor for 36 hours.
I don't even want to do anything
that feels good for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner-
4. I've been on so many blind
dates, I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman-
5. Never lend your car to anyone
to whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-
6. If high heels were so wonderful,
men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
7. I'm not going to vacuum
'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
8. I think-therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-
9. When women are depressed
they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-
10. Behind every successful man
is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-
11. I base most of my fashion
taste on what doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner-
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man;
if you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
13. I have yet to hear a man
ask for advice on how to combine
marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinhem-
14. I never married because
there was no need. I have three
pets at home which answer
the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls
every morning, a parrot which
swears all afternoon and a
cat that comes home late at night.
-Marie Corelli-
15. Nagging is the repetition
of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith Summerskill-
16. If men can run the world,
why can't they stop wearing
neckties? How intelligent
is it to start the day by tying
a little noose around your neck
-Linda Ellerbee-
17. I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man
I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
18. Send this to five bright women
you know and make their day.
